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The last month or two has felt like a long, mad run as I plowed through essays, presentations, stacks of chocolate and Greek flash cards. I've been juggling my own study with work commitments: some casual tutoring work - giving feedback on students' research essays. I finally finished up first semester last Tuesday, but it's only been now that I feel relaxed and can say - let the holidays begin.
I've been surprised at how difficult it has been, getting back to the study. I'm much more disciplined that I used to be, and there's far less self-pressure/fear: I don't worry about what mark I will get at the end of the semester (though of course I want to do well). But theological study is for knowing God better, and loving him more.
So my conclusion is that theological study is difficult. Its difficulty is two-fold: not only is the content difficult, but the methodology - how to do it well, reveals much about the student. What theology requires of you, as a human being, is difficult.
Theology requires you to be:
- kind (to others, to the lecturer, to oneself)
- humble (Dealing with frustration, anger, grief, dissatisfaction, impatience)
- to pay attention (to the details of God's word, to the details of each others' lives)
- to look failure in the face (The Greek exam)
- to be honest (with yourself, and with others)
- to integrate theology with life, practice with preaching
- to be patient with God, with yourself
- to trust God - to throw oneself into his bosom, and trust that he'll take care of it
